I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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