You're completely useless in the revolution.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
