His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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