Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
