Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
