Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize