I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We need to get me chipped asap
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
