i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she peed on how many people?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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