Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
