these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
