Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
