I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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