apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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