We're facebook friends in real life
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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