No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
