He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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