just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
