i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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