Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
