So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
