I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize