I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
