He is an equal opportunity slut.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
