Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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