I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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