her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
