Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
