She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
