I want to have your abortion
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
