Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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