sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
