The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
