we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize