You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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