Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
