I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My vagina just recognized that song.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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