Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
