What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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