i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
