I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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