Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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