peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize