the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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