I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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