Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
