so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
