So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize