Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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