She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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