come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
