Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
