i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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