Just fell off a train. Bad.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize