Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
