is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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