fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
