perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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