it was like eating out sand paper
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
