Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
