That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize