I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
